I would like us to co-create a list of strategies that have helped, or could help some of our students regulate during stressful situations. Please feel free to add your ideas and suggestions in the comments.
As I sit here and re-read my notes from our workshop last week I can’t help but feel both overwhelmed and excited about the information that was shared with us. One of the comments I highlighted was “Connect before you Correct.” This quote struck me as a very important tool. There is no way I can begin to help a child out of their stress behaviours if a connection has not been made between us. There needs to be some sort of relationship and trust so that the child can feel safe to become calm and to share. I feel that I have this with many of my students but perhaps not quite as much with those who need me the most. I tend to remain a little guarded around them and I think it’s because I was not aware of the difference between stress behaviour and mis-behaviour. My eyes are definitely open now.
Some of the other items that I noted were:
I feel that these points give me permission to slow down and take mu students best interest ahead of my curriculum. Learning cannot happen anyways if we are not in a good place.
Earlier this week, the team had a chance to spend the day with Lisa Cranston. She is a retired elementary school educator, and facilitator for the Mehrit Centre. It was a great day of learning, and I am sure all of us will write one thing or another about our learning that day.
One of the things that really stood out for me was our discussion on the difference between stress behaviour and misbehaviour. Lisa Cranston shared this definition with us:
(You can see other infographics here.)
Thinking about the things children do as out of the child’s full control changes my approach. I wrote in my notes: “Stress behaviour = can’t even switch and accept an offering of something good. No bribery or reward can change the behaviour.” This struck me because in some of my learning I have wondered if all behaviour really is due to stress. I have certainly known children (some with the last name Corbett) who do things that seem very purposefully chosen even though the child knows it was a bad choice. And I have known other children whose behaviour really does seem to be out of their control, at least in a specific moment. I’m sure all of us have seen a tired, hungry toddler have a full meltdown!
I also wrote in my notes, “Assume stress behaviour, and work backward to a solution.” This is where my learning about how to help a child learn to self-regulate, or in other words change their behaviour because they are calm, relaxed and feeling safe again, comes in. If I can reframe the behaviour I am seeing, and recognize that the child is really, really stressed, then I can start to identify the stressor. Once I have identified potential stressors, I can start to resolve or remove them. More importantly, I can help the child recognize and name the stressor, and figure out how to reduce or remove it.
Every year the Ontario Ministry of Education offers grant money to Ontario teachers to study topics that interest them. These are teacher-initiated, teacher-led projects, and could be about a variety of topics.
This year, a group of Sunset Park teachers, along with some administrators and a teacher from another school, will be participating in a TLLP project. We’ll be studying self regulation – learning what it means, what skills are involved with self regulation, and learning how we can help our students develop these skills so they can achieve their highest potential at school, and in life.
Not sure what self-regulation is? According to an October 2011 article in Psychology Today, “Research consistently shows that self-regulation skill is necessary for reliable emotional well being. Behaviorally, self-regulation is the ability to act in your long-term best interest, consistent with your deepest values. (Violation of one’s deepest values causes guilt, shame, and anxiety, which undermine well being.) Emotionally, self-regulation is the ability to calm yourself down when you’re upset and cheer yourself up when you’re down.” You can read the rest of the article here.
The teachers participating in this project will be blogging regularly about their learning. Hopefully if you follow along you will learn a few things too!