I’m reading our new book, “Calm, Alert and Learning” by Dr. Stuart Shanker. I just finished chapter 4, which is called “The Social Domain”. Social stressors are especially hard for me personally, so they are the ones that I feel I can relate to the most when I am thinking about how children are behaving, and the stressors they might be experiencing. On page 85, he writes:
- “It is essential that we look at students through a different lens, to shift from thinking in terms of behaviour management to figuring out why we see certain behaviours and what can be done to help these students learn to self-regulate.”
He is, at this point in the book, writing about a workshop given to teachers to help them understand self-regulation. He goes on to explain that the important thing to keep in mind when it comes to a child’s behaviour is to focus on 1) the cause of the behaviour, and 2) how to mitigate the stressors on the child…(also page 85)
I have so enjoyed having two weeks at home. We were on a vacation for the first week, and even though we were around other people (strangers!) almost the entire time, I didn’t have to be social with very many of them. And the people I was being social with were all family. The second week was spent in the house. Literally! I don’t think we left more than once. I have enjoyed this. This morning, however, I am getting ready to go back to school and thinking about how different it is going to be. I have to talk to people all day (which I don’t mind, it’s just a little bit of a stressor for me.) I have to actually think about the clothing I am going to put on (though I think most people wouldn’t mind if I arrived at work in a t-shirt and yoga pants!)
As Charlotte often reminds us, behaviour is communication. I’m already anticipating some behaviour that I may see in class today. It will be hard for people to get up early today so they might be a bit tired (biological stress), they will be thinking about getting back to hard work (emotional stress), they will be working (cognitive stress) and they will be around other people all day (possible social stress.) This morning I am reminding myself that any misbehaviour I might see today is likely caused by some stress on the system, and that I should look carefully at these behaviour and try to figure out what the children might be trying to communicate to me.
Hi Lisa and team,
I am loving all the blog posts. They are so interesting and applicable!
Yesterday’s blog post was particularly thought-provoking especially how you explain that you already anticipate behaviours even before the return to school. Indeed, the quotes that you discuss from Dr. Shanker’s book apply directly to what you might anticipate prior to the return.
A couple of things that came to my mind while reflecting on your post:
1- In what ways, would these stressors/behaviours change over a longer period away from the school routine? For example, the two months of summer break vs. the week for March break?
2 – In what ways are students capable of comprehending when/if their capabilities meet designated levels in a particular area? How might this affect their self-regulation in their classroom setting?
Thanks for your willingness to promote insight and discussion on a very important and applicable topic!
Thanks for your comment, Anna! I’m often thinking about how the children who are having trouble know they are having trouble. They know they are behaving differently than the other children. Even if they act as though they don’t care, I think they are often quite self-conscious about it, which just exacerbates the stress they feel. I think of how the “class clown” in movies is often trying to make people laugh in order to cover up the fact that he doesn’t know what is going on. It would be really hard to be the odd kid, and be really aware of that. I love summer break, but it is really hard for some of our people. And I think the anxiety related to coming back (not knowing who one’s teacher will be, not knowing which class to go to on the first day, not knowing where one’s friends will be…) is very overwhelming for many children.