Author: Lisa Corbett

If it’s not one thing, it’s another

Lisa Corbett Lisa Corbett , , 0 Comment

A funny thing happened this week.  Last week, I nearly lost my mind.  But then this week, which has actually been a more challenging week, I’ve come home from work feeling pretty good about our work.  So, what was the difference?

I’ll start by channelling my inner old lady and telling you about all of my problems. This is one of my go-to strategies when I am reframing my behaviour.  This helps me remember that there is a lot going on at any one time, and that it’s OK to feel overwhelmed by it all, and to feel like I just want to go to bed at 7:oo p.m. and start over tomorrow.

Biological:  I’m tired.  Not “teacher in June” tired, but “teacher in December” tired, which is pretty close to the same thing. I’m not eating the best foods, and the Christmas goodies haven’t even arrived from Nana yet.  I feel like I’m getting some sort of cold in my head, but it’s not quite there yet.  I feel a bit of the foggy brain for no particular reason (other than the sleep and the not-quite-a-cold feeling.)

Cognitive: See foggy brain above.  I’ve had 3 math PD sessions, and a TLLP meeting in the past two weeks.  I love them, but there’s more to think about.  I am also trying to finish up a book that is sort of okay but not that great but I want to finish it anyway (you know the kind!) I am also starting to think about report cards coming up, and all the things I need to finish up and assess before the middle of January. This is all part of the regular job, but it takes up brain space nonetheless.  Oh, and I’m trying to get organized for our Winter Break vacation.

Emotional: The holidays bring with them a variety of emotions.  I’m excited, but I’m trepidatious, and I struggle between not wanting to spoil my own children while still helping them enjoy the holidays.  I don’t want to be a  Grinch about things the other kids’ parents are doing, but I want to impart our values about Christmas not being about things.  I feel like I am doing the right thing and the wrong thing at the same time.

Social: To quote the Grinch, there’s a lot of noise, and singing, and feasting.  (Not an exact quote!)  And am I going to this party? or that party? or this thing? or that thing.  NO!  I am going to be at home in my pyjamas!  (That is what I want to say, but then I have emotions related to being a Grinch.)

Pro-social: There’s a lot of emphasis at this time of year on noticing what other people don’t have.  That makes me feel a lot of empathy for them.  I feel sad for people who are missing family, or who can’t afford enough gifts for their children. I am happy, but it’s all tainted with a little bit of sadness.

So there I was, on a Thursday afternoon, with all of these stressors sitting squarely on my very tense shoulders. I was trying to juggle having three different activities going in the class – grades 2s with me, grade 3s on Google looking at pictures for their research, and some kids not wanting to do either.  Just as I launched into the most brilliant thing I could possibly say all week, someone stood directly in front of me and asked to go to the bathroom 4 times.  I said yes 3 times and tried to carry on with my teaching, but the yes was not received.  Finally the 4th time I said, “JUST GO!” I knew it had come out more harshly than I would like.  I knew that this child probably hadn’t heard the previous 3 yeses because of a variety of reasons. But it was too late to take back those words.  My volcano mouth had already erupted.  I took a deep breath. I took another. I consciously changed my tone of voice, and did that thing all teachers do where I immediately changed my trajectory.  I looked around and realized that if we did what we were doing in a little bit different way, it was probably going to be less stressful for all of us.  Then we did that.  And it was less stressful.

And after school I was out of the school in my car before the last bus left, and now I am at home in my comfy pants cooking dinner and writing.  That’s been my response to the stress this week:  self-care.  That includes forgiving myself, taking care of my family, and appreciating that kids are willing to forgive easily.  (And also I will make them pancakes next week so we can be guaranteed life-long friendship!)

5 Steps of Self Reg

Lisa Corbett Lisa Corbett 3 Comments

This past week was a busy one in room 10.  And by “busy”, I mean BUSY! I’m sitting in my kitchen on Saturday morning processing it all from a bit of a distance and trying to make sure I am restoring my energy so I’ll be ready for Monday.  Stuart Shanker has created the “Five Steps of Self-Reg” model for dealing with stress. In my learning this year I have come to understand how important it is to sit back and take a careful look at stressful events using these 5 steps.  They really help me manage the stress for myself, and help children in my class to manage their stress. One of the most useful things I have learned is that taking care of my own self-regulation is key to success.

Downloaded from https://self-reg.ca/individualtoolkit/

It’s important to note that though they are called “The 5 Steps”, a person might not actually engage in all 5, and will certainly not need to use them in order.  Some things need to be done in order. For example, I need to recognize a stressor before I can remove it – although I suppose a stressor might actually be removed from an environment and only after the removal does a person realize it was the thing causing the stress.  See? It’s all very circular!

Step 1:  Reframe. Instead of thinking about how hard my week was, I started by thinking about how hard it was for all of us.  I wasn’t in there alone. And while there were certainly times when I thought the whole week was a failure, there are some really large pockets of effective, productive work mixed in there.  So I am already reframing my thinking and instead of saying, “WHAT A HORRIBLE WEEK!” I’m thinking, “WOW! That was busy!” No – I really am.

Step 2: Recognize. I can easily recognize what the stressors were, but what sort of person would I be if I wrote them all down in this public space and shared them?  Suffice it to say, I have recognized my stressors. 

Step 3:  Reduce the stressor.  I’ve already reduced the stress in my life by taking the day off.  I know that I never have to work on a Saturday, but I often do. I brought a big bag of stuff home with me, but it’s sitting in a corner and I am ignoring it until tomorrow.  And I have not checked my e-mail even once today, even though not checking it is a bit of a stressor for me. I am purposely ignoring school. I am, at the same time, thinking about some of our big stressors as a classroom community and thinking about how to make next week less busy.  If we could only schedule snow days for Mondays or Fridays that would be a great start! I did already start this on Friday by doing art in the afternoon, even though it wasn’t on the schedule! And on Friday I also had a “catch-up” day so everyone could get caught up on their writing before I moved forward.  I think that will help us have a fresh start on Monday.

Step 4: Reflect. I have reflected a lot this week!  I have looked at some of my reactions to the busy-ness in the room and have thought about how things could be done differently and how I could react differently.  I have reflected on all of the stressors I have recognised, and I have thought a lot about how to reduce our stressors. And I have reflected on the stress reduction techniques I have tried.  

Step 5:  Respond: Restoration and Resilience.  Now it is time to apply all of my thinking and get ready for a great week on Monday.  I need to finish tidying up the house (always a stress reducer for me), I need to eat some healthy food, and I need to get some extra rest.  My lesson plans, which I will not write until tomorrow, will have more “breaks” incorporated into them.

Every day in December gets a bit more hectic than the last.  The stress can really pile up, especially if the weather is acting up and we are out of school a bit – these disruptions in schedule are always a challenge. The stress is not going away.  By putting the 5 Steps of Self-Reg into action, I’m already feeling better about next week.

Read this to learn more about restoration.

Support, not punishment

Lisa Corbett Lisa Corbett 2 Comments

At the end of our third podcast, Erinn emphasized that Self-Reg is not an add-on, or an extra set of lessons we need to carve our time for in our busy schedules.  Rather, teaching self-regulation is something we should be able to do in the moment.  And us it is too!   That’s is the thing that most interests me about this work.  I don’t have time for anything extra, and the students who need the skills the most aren’t always in a place to learn them just because our schedule tells us it’s time.

This past week, I had a lot of chances to really put this into practice.  One morning in particular, one of my little people was really struggling.  I called for some help from the office. When help arrived, it came in the form of a “teacher in charge” who doesn’t know my students as well as other people might.  However, I knew I was talking to someone who understands self-regulation. Instead of listing the offences and venting my own frustrations, I simply said, “X needs a break.  Can you talk him for a walk and see if that helps him settle?”  The reply:  “So you don’t want anything punitive?  Just a chance to calm down and get ready to come back to class?”  Yes.  That is exactly what we needed.  After a walk, and a snack, and some time away from whatever was causing the stress, the student returned ready to be in class.  This is just one example of the Self-Reg support that was offered to my student, and to me throughout the week.

If we start with the assumption that a student is struggling because he or she is caught in a stress cycle, rather than assuming it’s all about intentional misbehaviour, it really changes the interaction.  By the end of the week, that particular child had been taken on a number of regulating walks by a few different people, including me.  There was some special attention given, and perhaps a few Jolly Ranchers. The struggles were still present.  They will probably still be present next week, and beyond.  However, I left on Friday feeling like that child was truly supported by the admin team, the teaching team, the educational assistants, and me.  I didn’t lose a wink of sleep last night because I felt like we could have done more.  I felt like we did exactly what was needed for that small human being who was experiencing some difficulties.

So often people are hoping to punish students who misbehave.  The frustration of dealing with a child who refuses to cooperate is a huge stressor for teachers who work really hard to do right by the whole class.  We want to believe that we can force the behaviours to go away  – that we have some control.  But sometimes we don’t.  That’s when our own personal self-regulation comes into play, and that’s when we have to change our auto-response from “punish!” to “support”.

I want to end this post by sharing a very funny video by Julian Smith.  When he tries to serve his hot Kool-Aid to his brother, and the brother rejects it repeatedly, I know exactly how he feels.  I have felt that way after spending a weekend organizing The Best Lesson Ever, only to have it rejected by my class. 🙂  This guy needs some self-regulation strategies before he has a heart attack!

So….We made a few podcasts…..

Lisa Corbett Uncategorized 0 Comment

When I told everyone that we were going to record a podcast to share our learning, I think they were very dysregulated!  It’s a bit scary, after all, to speak in front of a crowd.  Microphones freak many people out.  We all want to sound like we know what we are talking about.  On top of that, we have to be extra careful during our recorded conversations not to say things that would jeopardize student privacy.   But we are 3 episodes in, and I think they sound pretty good.  If you’d like to have a listen, here is the first episode:

Self-Control vs. Self-Regulation

Lisa Corbett Lisa Corbett 2 Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between self-control and self-regulation lately.  There was a time when I truly believed that all children were in control of all of their behaviour.  I believed that misbehaviour was a purposeful choice, and that if I took away enough recesses, offered enough undesirable consequences and made the child want to make good choices,  then we’d be set.  It was all about attitude and desire to do good.

Now, I have a better understanding of the difference between self-control (having complete control over a behaviour) and self-regulation (being calm enough to make a purposeful decision about behaviour.)

In this article for Psychology Today, Dr. Stuart Shanker says, “Self-control is about inhibiting strong impulses; self-regulation, reducing the frequency and intensity of strong impulses by managing stress-load and recovery. In fact, self-regulation is what makes self-control possible, or, in many cases, unnecessary. ”

So what does that look like? Food is something that makes sense to me, and something that I use for both adaptive and maladaptive stress control.  On Halloween night, my children went Trick-or-Treating with their dad.  I stayed at home writing my progress reports and handing out candy.  Writing reports is a bit stressful because it takes a fair bit of concentration to make sure I have all of my data organized, my thoughts organized, and can get it all onto paper in an organized way.  On this night, I was frequently interrupted in my writing.  I had planned for this, so it was OK.  I could hand out candy AND think about my writing at the same time.  There were a lot more people coming to the door than I had anticipated. And then I realized the doorbell wasn’t working properly, and I wasn’t sure I was hearing all the kids at the door.  It was stressful!  I started eating candy.  (3 for you, 1 for me….you’ve all been there!)  I can say no to candy;  if you sat a bowl of it in front of me right now, I’d eat one.  Okay…I’d eat two.  But I would stop there.  On that night, however, when I was feeling a bit stressed, I lost count of all the candy I had eaten long before the family arrived at home. Because I was dysregulated, I was making poor choices.  But it wasn’t actually about poor choices…I was just eating the candy without ever thinking about it.

I could have exercised some fake self-control by hiding the candy. (Since I would know my hiding place, this wouldn’t actually slow me down that much.)  What I really needed to do, however, was stop the stress.  As soon as my children came home, I closed the computer and stopped thinking about reports.  My children shared their stories about the night, and we sorted candy. We blew out the candles in the pumpkins and turned off the light, ending the ringing of the bell. Before long, I realized it had been an hour since my last piece of chocolate.  I wasn’t stressed anymore.  I wasn’t eating any more.  On the way to bed I thought about having another Kit Kat, but was able to exercise some self-control and wait until the next day at breakfast. 😉

As I consider more of the times when I have been stressed and have then “lost control” of myself, I think more and more about how finding a way to calm my stress would have completely changed my reaction.  Stressed because an art lesson has left the floor covered in paint?  Don’t bark at the kids to get it cleaned up – turn on a happy cleaning song!  A child has just torn up his math work?  Understand that the math has sent him into a stress cycle and the only way out was to get rid of it. Instead of, “Keep it up and you’ll lose another recess!”  I should be saying, “Why is this child acting like this now?  What can I do to help him/her through this difficulty?’

Seeing children differently, reframing their behaviour as stress behaviour rather than intentional misbehaviour, is a game changer.  Seeing my own behaviour the same way is too.

 

Stress behaviour vs. Misbehaviour

Lisa Corbett Lisa Corbett 0 Comment

Earlier this week, the team had a chance to spend the day with Lisa Cranston.  She is a retired elementary school educator, and facilitator for the Mehrit Centre.   It was a great day of learning, and I am sure all of us will write one thing or another about our learning that day.

One of the things that really stood out for me was our discussion on the difference between stress behaviour and misbehaviour.   Lisa Cranston shared this definition with us:

(You can see other infographics  here.)

Thinking about the things children do as out of the child’s full control changes my approach.  I wrote in my notes:  “Stress behaviour = can’t even switch and accept an offering of something good.  No bribery or reward can change the behaviour.”   This struck me because in some of my learning I have wondered if all behaviour really is due to stress.  I have certainly known children (some with the last name Corbett) who do things that seem very purposefully chosen even though the child knows it was a bad choice.  And I have known other children whose behaviour really does seem to be out of their control, at least in a specific moment.   I’m sure all of us have seen a tired, hungry toddler have a full meltdown!

I also wrote in my notes, “Assume stress behaviour, and work backward to a solution.”  This is where my learning about how to help a child learn to self-regulate, or in other words change their behaviour because they are calm, relaxed and feeling safe again, comes in.  If I can reframe the behaviour I am seeing, and recognize that the child is really, really stressed, then I can start to identify the stressor.  Once I have identified potential stressors, I can start to resolve or remove them.  More importantly, I can help the child recognize and name the stressor, and figure out how to reduce or remove it.

 

What is a TLLP?

Lisa Corbett Charlotte Blair, Erinn Hansman, Ginette Blacker, Jennifer Rogers, Laurie Forth, Lisa Corbett, Nicole Bentley 0 Comment

Every year the Ontario Ministry of Education offers grant money to Ontario teachers to study topics that interest them. These are teacher-initiated, teacher-led projects, and could be about a variety of topics.

This year, a group of Sunset Park teachers, along with some administrators and a teacher from another school, will be participating in a TLLP project.  We’ll be studying self regulation – learning what it means, what skills are involved with self regulation, and learning how we can help our students develop these skills so they can achieve their highest potential at school, and in life.

Not sure what self-regulation is?  According to an October 2011 article in Psychology Today, “Research consistently shows that self-regulation skill is necessary for reliable emotional well being. Behaviorally, self-regulation is the ability to act in your long-term best interest, consistent with your deepest values. (Violation of one’s deepest values causes guilt, shame, and anxiety, which undermine well being.) Emotionally, self-regulation is the ability to calm yourself down when you’re upset and cheer yourself up when you’re down.”  You can read the rest of the article here.

The teachers participating in this project will be blogging regularly about their learning.  Hopefully if you follow along you will learn a few things too!

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